Living with Alzheimer’s

I’m not overreacting? This is real?

I'm not overreacting? This is real? | Living with Alzheimer's with Marci at marcikobayashi.com

Every few days I get to thinking that perhaps I am overreacting. Perhaps my father-in-law’s behavior is not so unusual. Perhaps he really doesn’t have Alzheimer’s. Never mind that he was diagnosed by a doctor after extensive testing. The thing is, most of our exchanges seem normal and I start to doubt myself. And then,…

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This isn’t the kind of motherhood I was expecting

This isn't the kind of motherhood I was expecting. He is not growing up. He is growing out of this human expereince and I hold the space. | Living with Alzheimer's with Marci at marcikobayashi.com

A few months ago a shift occurred in the way I think of my father-in-law. I was ironing a pile of shirts and fretting over everything to do before my trip home when my sister called. I was on edge because I had this project to finish, that email to write, this thing to buy…

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Two ugly feet and a guilty conscience

Two ugly feet and a guilty conscience. | Marci's thoughts on living with Alzheimer's at marcikobayashi.com

I head down the hall towards the kitchen and see two ugly feet. They are my father-in-law’s feet. Because of the layout of the living room and where he lounges on a cushion on the floor, his body is blocked by the counter. All I see are his feet – no body, just feet. I…

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I care about you and you stink…

I care about you and you stink. | Living with Alzheimer's with Marci at marcikobayashi.com

The first time I had to to tell someone they needed a bath, I was mortified. I had to do it again recently and it was much easier. In high school, my mom and I lived in a big, two-story house built in the 1920s. It was huge and there were more rooms than we…

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Using elevators – up is the new down

This need to fix. This need to correct. This need to be right. I can let go of these today. | Marci's musings at marcikobayashi.com

Growing up and living in a rural part of Japan where most buildings are only 2-3 stories, my father-in-law rarely used an elevator. Now he uses one everyday. I should be celebrating… This man whose brain is befuddled with Alzheimer’s is successfully getting where he wants to go. Instead, everything in me wants to correct…

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Locked doors are a problem

Never underestimate the impact little frustrations have on your daily life. | Marci's musings at marcikobayashi.com

Over the last year my father-in-law, or Otosan as we call him, has adjusted well to his new home with us. He is a smart, do-it-yourself kind of guy. However, he is challenged by Alzheimer’s and sometimes things don’t connect in his brain in the same way they used to. There are some things that…

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Something to nurture and grow

It feels good knowing we have this hopeful seed to nurture and grow. A message brought to you with love, light and blessings from Marci Kobayashi at marcikobayashi.com

My 87 year old father-in-law, Masamoto, has been living with us for a year now. He was a rice farmer and logger since his early twenties and has lived most of his life far away from any big city. He has not complained since we brought him to Tokyo but I know he has struggled…

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I walk on light feet

Living with an aging parent is teaching me a lot about fear. Every day I have the opportunity to engage with fear. Some fears are physical, some are financial and if I were to be honest, most originate from a place of fear and uncertainty about my own future. This morning Otosan came back from…

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