Do you adjust your energy to others or hold your own space?

When do you adjust your energy to others and when do you hold your own space and let them adjust to you? | Exploring life with Marci at marcikobayashi.com

I’m pretty good at holding space but not necessarily my own space.

One of my superpowers is adjusting my energy to other people – finding their frequency and matching mine to it. It is not something I think about consciously, and it is not something I remember learning to do. I do it naturally.

Adjusting my energy to other people puts people at ease. I’m often told. “I feel so relaxed and comfortable with you.” I think this is why they also feel comfortable talking to me about anything.

One of the challenges for me is when there is more than one person present or more than one dominant energy. If my mother is in the room, I adjust to her. When my sister is present, I adjust to my sister. It’s not that I am conforming to them, rather I’m adjusting my energy so that we resonate.

If we’re all three together in the same room, I feel unsettled. Which energy frequency should I adjust to? The obvious answer would be to hold my own and be myself. Of course!

But what does that feel like? What is my inherent frequency?

What would it be like for me to hold the space, emanate my energy, and invite people to adjust to me? And is that OK? It sounds rather self-centered and presumptuous!

Fortunately, I work with an incredible healer, and in a recent session, we looked at this idea of owning or holding my own energetic space.

Margaretta walked me through an exercise that helped me recognize my energy as a widespread landscape that I hold and project. Recognizing my energy field in this way feels expansive and grounding at the same time.

In certain situations, I’m sure I will continue to adjust my energy to others. It’s a useful skill. However, as my landscape grows and gains definition, I bet I will experience more and more people adjusting to me.

How about you? When do you adjust your energy to others and when do you hold your own space?

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About the Author:

Hi! I’m Marci. I’ve lived in Japan for over 30 years, blending tech, language, and healing in my work. Through caregiving for my father-in-law with Alzheimer’s and supporting my husband’s cancer recovery, I discovered the importance of yoyu—having the time, energy, and emotional reserves to thrive. Now, I share these insights through writing, coaching, and creative projects. My upcoming memoir, Otosan, tells the story of those five transformative years. Let’s connect and create more yoyu in our lives!

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