Do you adjust your energy to others or hold your own space?

When do you adjust your energy to others and when do you hold your own space and let them adjust to you? | Exploring life with Marci at

I’m pretty good at holding space but not necessarily my own space.

One of my superpowers is adjusting my energy to other people – finding their frequency and matching mine to it. It is not something I think about consciously, and it is not something I remember learning to do. I do it naturally.

Adjusting my energy to other people puts people at ease. I’m often told. “I feel so relaxed and comfortable with you.” I think this is why they also feel comfortable talking to me about anything.

One of the challenges for me is when there is more than one person present or more than one dominant energy. If my mother is in the room, I adjust to her. When my sister is present, I adjust to my sister. It’s not that I am conforming to them, rather I’m adjusting my energy so that we resonate.

If we’re all three together in the same room, I feel unsettled. Which energy frequency should I adjust to? The obvious answer would be to hold my own and be myself. Of course!

But what does that feel like? What is my inherent frequency?

What would it be like for me to hold the space, emanate my energy, and invite people to adjust to me? And is that OK? It sounds rather self-centered and presumptuous!

Fortunately, I work with an incredible healer, and in a recent session, we looked at this idea of owning or holding my own energetic space.

Margaretta walked me through an exercise that helped me recognize my energy as a widespread landscape that I hold and project. Recognizing my energy field in this way feels expansive and grounding at the same time.

In certain situations, I’m sure I will continue to adjust my energy to others. It’s a useful skill. However, as my landscape grows and gains definition, I bet I will experience more and more people adjusting to me.

How about you? When do you adjust your energy to others and when do you hold your own space?

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About the Author:

Hi! I'm Marci. When I'm not writing, building websites, or coaching clients, I love walking the streets of Japan and discovering spirit in all shapes and forms. Here on the blog, you'll also get a peek into what it is like to live with and care for my Japanese father-in-law who has Alzheimer’s. Enjoy!



  1. Deborah Penner on February 18, 2017 at 9:23 AM

    OMG, Marci, exactly what I’ve been playing with lately … and coming gradually to the place where I choose more and more consistently to stay in my higher frequency states rather than bring myself to a space that doesn’t feel good so I can feel connected. It is such a gradual process and so filled with nuances and subtleties. I love this post!

    • Marci on February 18, 2017 at 12:37 PM

      It’s so good to know I’m not the only one! We can remind each other to hold our own space. Sometimes I get grumpy about the boundaries of my space. I have to remember that not only can I hold my own space, I can hold it gently! 🙂

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