Finding “Yoyu” [Excerpt 1]

“How do you do it, Marci?”
“You’re so amazing!”
“You’re more Japanese than a Japanese person.”
“You’re the epitome of a Japanese bride. Your in-laws must be so happy.”

I hear these comments whenever I tell Japanese people that I take care of my in-laws. You might think these comments make me happy, pleased, or even satisfied with my contribution and effort.

Instead, they irritate me. I have no doubt that the comments are meant as a compliment but unfortunately, I find them more annoying than pleasing.

Of course, I would be lying if I said the comments didn’t please me a little. Sure there’s part of me that feels proud. I want the acceptance and approval. I want to know that I am doing a good job. And, like most caregivers, I worry that I’m not doing enough.

What annoys me is that people make my life here in Japan and especially what I do with and for my in-laws seem like some kind of miracle. Not so much because a gal raised in another country could do it, though some are amazed by that, it is more like they can’t believe anyone would do it. This is so far from the truth.

Listen to Excerpt #1 above to learn more about Finding “Yoyu”

If you want to hear all the excerpts, you can find the playlist here.

About the book:

A few years ago, we moved my husband’s parents from a rural part of Japan to live with us in Tokyo in our tiny 800 square foot (73 square-meter) condo. My book, Finding “Yoyu,” is about what it took to decide to move them. It’s also about navigating the Japanese health care system and finding an appropriate nursing home for my mother-in-law while helping my father-in-law transition from a lifetime of farming to retirement in the big city. It’s about how we discovered he had Alzheimer’s and my husband had stage 3 colon cancer. It’s about how I managed to support these two men and keep (or find!) my yoyu all while going through a career change.

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About the Author:

Hi! I'm Marci. When I'm not writing, building websites, or coaching clients, I love walking the streets of Japan and discovering spirit in all shapes and forms. Here on the blog, you'll also get a peek into what it is like to live with and care for my Japanese father-in-law who has Alzheimer’s. Enjoy!


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