The Missing Ingredient- An Excerpt from 365 Life Shifts

Forcing an old man to do what he doesn’t want to do is tough. Forcing an old man who has Alzheimer’s to do it, is even tougher. In this story, I share how I was able to get my father-in-law to drink enough fluids during the hot summer and how it gave me a new strategy for embracing life. The story was first published in 2017, and the Japanese is now available here. 日本語はこちら→

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The Missing Ingredient

My father-in-law lives with us. He is an easygoing guy who likes to please others. Even so, he is dealing with Alzheimer’s and sometimes becomes ornery and uncooperative.

Getting him to drink enough fluids during the day is my current challenge. It’s hot, and reports of new deaths caused by dehydration are on the news daily. He watches the morning news with me, and we comment on it. Then he takes one sip of water with his pills and leaves the glass still full on the table.

I get it. My father-in-law is worried about having to pee. He had a few near-accidents when we were out together and one or two real accidents he hid from us, or so he thinks. It’s a real concern and one he thinks is easy to fix. No fluids going in, no fluids coming out.

How can I make this man do what he doesn’t want to do?

A few days ago, I got a bottle of Calpis, a sweet milky syrup popular in Japan since the early 1900s. When added to ice-water, it makes a refreshing, uncarbonated soft drink. My father-in-law is Japanese and grew up with this tasty treat.

I grabbed our biggest water glass, filled it with ice water, and added the syrup. I set it on the table in front of him and stood back to watch. He downed it and has done the same thing every morning since.

It feels sneaky. I am giving him a full glass of water, and he will need to pee. But it doesn’t seem to bother him. It is no longer in the same category as water. By adding one ingredient, his nemesis transformed into something he loves to consume.

I am deeply relieved. He is now taking in fluids, and thanks to his delight, I discovered another secret to life. I’ve tried masking the dreaded tasks we can’t avoid. It doesn’t work. Instead, I now look for the missing ingredient. What if our life, all of it, were something we loved to consume?

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The English version of this story was first published in 365 Life Shifts: Pivotal Moments That Changed Everything, a book by over 250 authors available on Amazon.