Locked doors are a problem

Over the last year my father-in-law, or Otosan as we call him, has adjusted well to his new home with us. He is a smart, do-it-yourself kind of guy. However, he is challenged by Alzheimer’s and sometimes things don’t connect in his brain in the same way they used to. There are some things that trip him up. Locked doors are one.

In our home, as in most Japanese homes, the sink and bathtub are in a separate room from the toilet. This is really convenient on busy mornings when one person needs to get in and take a shower while another needs more time to meditate on elimination.

In Japanese homes, it’s also not uncommon for some doors to open out into the hall, especially small rooms. This means that even when not occupied, the door to the toilet is kept closed otherwise the open door would block the hallway.

There are only three of us living in this condo so even with the door closed, it ought to be obvious when the room is occupied. And there is a handy lock on the door just in case it’s not.

This handy lock has been a big problem in our home.

The problem is when Otosan wants to get in and someone else is already on the toilet, with the door locked. He tries to open the door and when it doesn’t open he tries harder. He keeps jiggling the handle harder and harder. It doesn’t connect that the door is simply locked.

Of course I hurry up my business and try to get out as soon as possible because he seems to be in a hurry and I don’t want there to be an accident. However, there are sometimes when you just can’t hurry things along.

Because he can’t hear well, the only way to get through to Otosan to stop jiggling the door is to holler at him. It becomes a very stressful situation for everyone. A peaceful morning suddenly charged with irritation.

Explaining about the locked door and reasoning with him works in the moment but it is then quickly forgotten. We needed a new strategy. A new solution for the problem.

But wait, what is the REAL problem? The locked door? No. Thinking about it, I realized the real problem is finding a way for Otosan to easily recognize when someone else is already in the room.

That’s when I hit upon the perfect solution – a color-coded reversible placard showing “occupied” and “please go in”. It required a trip to the 100 yen store, a printer and a hole punch. A simple solution that took only a few minutes to make, is easy to use and requires no explanation. I’m happy to report that I have not been interrupted once since hanging the placard on the door. Elimination bliss!

I share this story because this one small change has made a big difference in our morning routine. Never underestimate the impact little frustrations have on your daily life. Solving little frustrations has a ripple effect. Sure, big issues cannot be ignored. However, if we tackle the little frustrations in front of us we can feel immediate results. The energy shifts.

I encourage you to take stock. Notice what is frustrating you and do something about it today!